As little children without any worries, there are certain things we did in secret and hoped no one found out. These are some of them.
African children at play
You don’t believe any of that childhood innocence nonsense because all kids are sly, sneaky, secretive little terrors.
While your parents innocently assumed that you were well behaved and incapable of things like setting booby traps, sabotaging siblings and lying, you knew different.
By the age of 11 with the amount of hidden sweets in your room, all the lures you had set around the house to capture Santa, and your techniques to avoid brushing your teeth, you were practically leading a secret double life.
1. Sabotaged siblings
Everyone had that one sibling that was the perfect, model child.
The type that had the reading age of an undergraduate student by the time they were in year 6, or was head of the football, cricket and running clubs at school.
So, of course, you did everything you possibly could to do sabotage them.
Tricks such as hiding their favourite toys or eating their dessert were common.
2. Avoided brushing your teeth
Your parents were insistent on the whole need to brush teeth, but as far as you were concerned it was an unnecessary evil, a mundane task in an otherwise exciting day.
You tried it for a bit, but it really wasn’t for you, so you perfected the wetting the toothbrush routine and splashing a bit of water around.
Even the dentist was fooled.
3. Created extensive sick days
Even back in primary school, there were some days when you simply could not be bothered to make that trek to school for morning of PE in the cold playground.
You knew skipping it wasn’t an option, so, instead, you nestled into your duvet, pinched your cheeks and faked a temperature, tummy ache, headache or a twisted ankle to avoid going in.
Your poor parents never had a clue.
4. Played knock, door, run
The ultimate game for all thrill-seeking kids that wanted to live life on the wild side.
Of course, you would be spotted by tattle-tale neighbours while running away as far as your little legs would carry you, leading to them popping round to grass you up.
And obviously, you denied all and blamed a sibling.
Another classic sabotage move.
5. Set booby traps
Why would parents let their kids watch Home Alone, and expect their offspring not to set a booby trap afterward?
You spent several months setting secret traps in order to capture Santa.
Not because you wanted to imprison him, but just so you could finally meet the main man himself.
And perhaps spend some time with Rudolph too.
6. Spied on parents
When you parents thought you were peacefully asleep, you were actually on the landing with an ear to the floorboards spying away.
How else would you find out what you were getting for your birthday?
7. Stole things
Anything belonging to a sibling was fair game as far as you were concerned.
Poor little souls never realised that you were the secret culprit pinching their Easter eggs, sweets and McDonald’s Happy Meal toys.
You may have got grounded or banned from watching your beloved Blue Peter by your parents for swearing, but this doesn’t mean you didn’t do it ALL THE TIME in secret, amongst your toys when your parents could not hear you.
9. Ate everything full of sugar
Apparently (according to your mum) sweets, chocolates and cakes were bad for you, and that is why you weren’t allowed them all the time.
But you weren’t going to let a few little rules and facts about tooth decay get in the way of your fun.
As soon as she was in the shower, you were deep diving into all of the kitchen drawers and secretly filling your boots.
10. Stashed food
You had a special space in your bedroom, most likely at the bottom of the wardrobe in an old school bag which was stuffed with Freddos, Hula Hoops and strawberry laces.
A few Wagon Wheels too.
11. Pinched toys
Sometimes your siblings were being highly unreasonable by having a stash of toys that they would not share with you.
So instead of reasoning with them, or offering a swap, you waited until they were out at karate or swimming and pinched everything you wanted.
12. Picked your nose
You couldn’t get on board with the whole tissue process.
13. Listened to sweary songs
As far as your parents were concerned you listened only to the chart show, but, in reality, you had been spending all of your pocket money on songs with plenty of swearing and inappropriate content, like ones by Eminem.
But you maintained it was all in the name of artistic freedom.
14. Forced teeth out
As soon as you felt a slight wobble on the milk teeth you would not rest until you had managed to successfully pop it out, wrap it in tissue and sit back and wait for the tooth fairy to pay you a visit and shower you with pound coins.